I decided many year’s ago that no matter what happens to me, whatever comes against me, tries to hurt me, tear me down or destroy me… It will not succeed. I refuse to bow down to anything that is against me. I will fight the good fight regardless of the obstacles the pain, and hardships associated with it all. Even if I lose my life I’d gain it. My SPIRIT and my MIND will not be broken. My faith heals my soul and renews my hope. I renew my mind and trust the word of God above any feeling, or voice that tries to tear me down. I am more than a conqueror. I am a warrior!

Ⓒ ML Malta 2018

Choose Life!

Choose Life!

Looking back over my life, I have made some incredibly epic mistakes. I have made bad choices, been hurt, broken and torn. I put my joy in other people’s pockets and didn’t know myself, or my value. I wanted to be loved by people that don’t know how to.

I have been physically and emotionally abused for the better part of my whole life and through it all I’ve blossomed. I’ve overcome brokenness, adversities, health problems and massive life issue’s. Although there has been so much turbulence, I was incredibly blessed with two beautiful children that drive me to be a better and stronger person every day. To be a mother they love and look up to. I also now have a husband I love and who loves me equally as much, with all of our hearts and then some. Additionally, I have two step daughter’s that are amazing and a wonderful extended family, all in which i’m incredibly grateful for. But it has not always been so pleasant.

I had spent so much time feeling that love was not real, that people were just evil and I only lived because of my faith in God. I was born into an abusive home and I had health problems. I was sick and shattered from a young age. As a result I never had hope, and felt very alone. As I became older I found God, but it didn’t stop my hardships. I was a mess. As the years went on I went from abuse to abuse, after a while I stopped caring, I’d let myself be abused because I was so tired of fighting. Although I knew God I was destroyed by the evil in the world and I felt beaten. My understanding of God and faith was very immature and although I knew he was with me, I had so much to learn and grow through. Sometimes my kids and God were the only thing’s keeping me alive.

Life has been very hard and extremely judgmental. I used to feel ashamed by the lies my abusers said to protect themselves. I tried defending myself only to feel invisible and unheard, It was a difficult time being labeled and victimized. Feeling so vulnerable and alone was soul crushing. Iooking back I was caring too much about what others thought than who God said I was. I was seeking love from people that couldn’t give it. Inside I was a small girl crying out to be loved and cared for. Looking back I was immature, I didn’t understand what it really meant to be loved or how to live in faith because I was still living in fear. We can not meet everyone’s expectations and we are not perfect. Neither is anyone else. Life is not that easy. I felt lost. My identity felt misinterpreted and abused. People I cared about lied about me, abused me and accused me. So many lies, so many tears. Many relationships were fractured because of manipulation and lies. Everyone out for themselves regardless of anyone else. It can be sad world. It took a long time for me to stand on my feet and not care about the lies, or the past and just concern myself with me and who I am and want to become. I pity them now, especially the ones that have not changed.

I’ve grown. I’ve grown beyond their lies, the fears, the demons and the darkness. No longer under a shadow. I love the person God created me to be and am. I know I have value and it is not dependent on anyone! Not even myself. I am loved and beautiful. I don’t need people to hold me up, I just need God to hold me in his arm’s. I don’t need to listen to every voice screaming in my head, the peace that I chose to hear is all I’ll ever need. People think they know me, but they don’t. They heard stories, made up by a liar, or they saw me make mistakes. Sure I made mistakes, but one bad choice isn’t my identity and I refuse to accept it. My identity and life now has clear purpose and value. I don’t waste my thoughts, feelings or energy on unnecessary things or people and I refuse to live in the past.

The people we associate with and allow into our lives is extremely important, they shape the perception of us and our experiences. I have learnt to be mindful of my connections and not allow myself to be mistreated. I positioned myself with love. Whatever life throws at you, stand your ground and pray. Never lose hope, and above all, do not relinquish your faith into the arm’s of fear. You will survive the storm’s of life. Every day is a new day and an opportunity to grow beyond what life has done to you, or what you let happen to yourself. You are not a victim, you are in fact a warrior. You are an overcomer!

God has a plan to bless you and prosper you regardless of what any devil in hell might try to put you through. Raise your hopes and keep fighting. You will see change as you change. Grow from your experiences and become the person you know you are on the inside. Let yourself shine in the darkness until you reach the sun. Be the light and let it shine within you. I know mine felt like it was smouldering at times, but it never went out. I wouldn’t give in and give my enemies their wish! No! You fight and you fight and you fight well! I am not perfect, but I do know that to survive you need to grow. You get up every day, have a shower, eat, drink and move! Start researching anything and everything that will help you change your state of mind and move you physically into a better place or environment. Challenge your mindset, false beliefs, the lies and move forward. Make better choices, be better… do better! Leave the past behind you. Change your people and associations. People that are in a rut want company, don’t be their crutch. Do not settle! Get up out of that ditch and lead by example. Look after yourself! If they aren’t ready for change that’s their issue, change yourself. You can only control your outcome. Only you can choose LIFE.

ⒸML Malta 2018

Thank God!

Thank GOD! Thank God, life moves on. Thank God for unanswered prayers and the ones our heart’s cried out for and God heard. Life won’t always be perfect or easy, but it is always changing. A hopeless time does not mean a hopeless life! You are never stuck. Life can potentially be everything you want it to be with someone you never believe existed. You can not deny hope. Life is full of choices, so please don’t let anyone else make them for you. Be present, and be mindful of your life, your company and where you position yourself. You aren’t a tree, you can move. Sure, the bad times shake us up, but they also remind us of who we don’t want to become and where we need to be. Never let anyone make you feel you’re not good enough, or treat you like an option. You are far greater. Never let someone control or manipulate you into anything less than you truly are. They are not permanent, but you are. Remember, you are amazing all by yourself. Strive to be better and do better with your life… you really are amazing. Thank God for you! – ML Malta


Life isn’t easy, but it is worth it!

It is easy to tell everyone how bad life is and effort to change it. I know life is hard. I know life is a struggle and there often seems to be no end to the trouble and hardships. But there is!

How often do you find yourself going through the same stuff over and over again? Reliving the same drama with different people? Or similar types of people with new problems? Life can give us the same lessons over and over until we break the pattern. What’s the lesson? Until we mature and understand the lesson, we can easily spend a large portion of our lives digging big old ugly ditches that feel like compacted mud. We just feel stuck. Learning takes time, it takes focused effort and dedication… if you want to change your life you need to start taking a look at what life is trying to teach you. The lessons could be simple, or difficult. Every lesson personalized for you to become your best self. The only way to find the lesson is start evaluating it, asking yourself questions and being honest with yourself.

We are often living our lives for other people, forgetting ourselves in the process. This can cause all sorts of problems to yourself, including other’s. Be true, be you. Make peace a priority, if anything for your sanity, i’m sure i’m not alone here. It all gets overwhelming! It isn’t our natural state. Become a better you today. Give your body the rest, nutrients and emotional peace it deserves. We are not designed to be in pain and stress.

What have you been overlooking, side stepping, putting off, forgetting, not forgiving, talking about, regretting, holding on to and replaying over and over in your mind? Our life and lessons are our own, however, the gifts of joy and peace are for those who seek it out and is possible for everyone to achieve. As they say, seek and you shall find. As corny as it sounds, it is true! If you truly want something bad enough you will do what ever is necessary to get there. Learn… ask questions, study, research, join groups, seek out people and the information to mature required to grow into the person you desire to be. Do what ever you can to get where you want to be!

Life happens, but you can change your experience of it. Remember, what you think about is what you attract and reaffirm. If we are constantly thinking about how hard life is how can we possibly feel good? Or if we are just angry and hard done by all the time, how can we see past it? Constantly dragging up and focusing on our torments creates a tormented mind. If we focused on the positive aspects of life we can have hope, and start seeking joy again. We have to take control of what we think about and how it is driving us. Moreso, to where?

It is possible to stop the noise in your head, it is possible to stop being depressed because you woke up that way, it is possible to heal from brokenness and be the person that’s waiting inside to come out and live.

Do not let the world and life steal your joy and life, it’s yours to take back! We need to be actively aware of the direction our lives are taking and take over the wheel. Participation in the development of yourself and your future is intrinsic to a better life. Do not sit idly by and watch it fall apart. Do not allow hopelessness to devour what is left! Take it back today! Right now! Make a choice and set yourself a plan. Do what ever it takes to save your life! If life has put you under a bus, don’t stay there! You are more than able to get up, drive that bus and regain control of it.

I believe in you, now you believe in yourself. You have got this and life doesn’t have to be set on a rinse and repeat cycle of despair. Your life is invaluable to the world, you might not feel that now, but it is. You are incredibly important. Just remember it won’t be easy, change never is, but if you persist – you will WIN!

How wonderful, to imagine a future that is bright, and hopeful regardless of life’s storms! What a truly great place to be.

Good luck on your journey and congratulations for making a step toward freedom.